Yes, my Heavenly Father I do believe in You and I WILL put my TRUST in You even when I CAN"T SEE WHERE I AM GOING. I may not know about my TOMORROWS dear Lord, but I SURE KNOW WHO HOLDS MY HAND... If Alan Donne lives or if his earthly tabernacle dies we WILL SERVE THE LORD!!! whichever, this home WILL BE where GOD is UPHELD AND DECLARED as the LORD of our HEARTS and spirit.
PRAISE GOD for His MIGHTY ACTS!!! Your WILL be done in our lives... May all the WOUNDED HEARTS be HEALED in Your children. May they be MINISTERED to and GIVEN a CHANCE to LIVE in HEAVEN with You someday...
3/13/1992
Gertrude Ann
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Letter to God !!! (continued) 3
Show us Your will and plan in Your timing dear Lord... With the Holy Spirit as our guide we may do mighty acts and experience more than we have ever experienced before. TEACH us to be obedient at Your calling and may we be more like You...
My child, I do have a special plan for you and if you KEEP YOUR EYES on ME, and DO WHAT , and GO WHERE I LEAD you, you WILL SEE MIRACLES in your life... This is the time to put your FAITH IN ME as I know exactly what I HAVE PLANNED for you. This is the TIME to START OVER AGAIN, for this is the DAY OF NEW BEGINNINGS. I know you don't see MY PLAN but HAVE FAITH IN ME, for I WILL NEVER LEAD you in the wrong direction or DO ANYTHING that WOULD BRING HARM to you in any way. Just put your TRUST in ME MY CHILD and LEAN NOT on your own understanding, for MY WAYS are HIGHER than your ways... I WILL DIRECT your path and show you my SALVATION...
My child, I do have a special plan for you and if you KEEP YOUR EYES on ME, and DO WHAT , and GO WHERE I LEAD you, you WILL SEE MIRACLES in your life... This is the time to put your FAITH IN ME as I know exactly what I HAVE PLANNED for you. This is the TIME to START OVER AGAIN, for this is the DAY OF NEW BEGINNINGS. I know you don't see MY PLAN but HAVE FAITH IN ME, for I WILL NEVER LEAD you in the wrong direction or DO ANYTHING that WOULD BRING HARM to you in any way. Just put your TRUST in ME MY CHILD and LEAN NOT on your own understanding, for MY WAYS are HIGHER than your ways... I WILL DIRECT your path and show you my SALVATION...
Monday, April 11, 2011
A Letter to God !!! (continued)
3/15/1992
Our Father, with Your help make a way for both Alan Donne and myself to find the space we need to
help each other as each new day dawns. May Your Grace and Peace abide in this home forever and Your Love bind us ever closer to You and each other. I praise You Father for bringing Alan Donne into my life
and our rewarding years with each other. Even if it is just a few more months the Doctors are giving him our
life together and the life we share with You, may they be more loving, kind and gentle with each passing day...
3/11/92
11pm
Oh God! You know I don't really like or look forward to having to pack and move again... I thought this last move was the last one I would have to make.. But here we are again having to move once more. Help me to only move what I have to and get rid of what I can't move... We moved from a fairly big house to a 2 bedroom apartment to possibly one much smaller. there has been so very much that has happened since 1986 when I started having cataracts which finally took most of my eyesight by 1988... Then I had the cataracts removed and special plastic lenses put in. Then in May of 1991 I had the hysterectomy done
and the cancer found. Praise God!!! But then this new challenge to increase our faith even more....being Alan Donne and the cancer he has in his body. I know You have a special plan for us, but as yet we don't see what it is. maybe You are stretching our wings so we may fly higher than ever before. Just like a baby eagle when he is learning to fly. the mother eagle takes him higher each time and lets him drop from her back and goes down a ways, just far enough for the baby eagle to feel the wind in his wings. After a while with the help of the mother eagle he is ready to soar far above. Is that what You are doing to us our Heavenly Father? that we may soar in our faith?
Our Father, with Your help make a way for both Alan Donne and myself to find the space we need to
help each other as each new day dawns. May Your Grace and Peace abide in this home forever and Your Love bind us ever closer to You and each other. I praise You Father for bringing Alan Donne into my life
and our rewarding years with each other. Even if it is just a few more months the Doctors are giving him our
life together and the life we share with You, may they be more loving, kind and gentle with each passing day...
3/11/92
11pm
Oh God! You know I don't really like or look forward to having to pack and move again... I thought this last move was the last one I would have to make.. But here we are again having to move once more. Help me to only move what I have to and get rid of what I can't move... We moved from a fairly big house to a 2 bedroom apartment to possibly one much smaller. there has been so very much that has happened since 1986 when I started having cataracts which finally took most of my eyesight by 1988... Then I had the cataracts removed and special plastic lenses put in. Then in May of 1991 I had the hysterectomy done
and the cancer found. Praise God!!! But then this new challenge to increase our faith even more....being Alan Donne and the cancer he has in his body. I know You have a special plan for us, but as yet we don't see what it is. maybe You are stretching our wings so we may fly higher than ever before. Just like a baby eagle when he is learning to fly. the mother eagle takes him higher each time and lets him drop from her back and goes down a ways, just far enough for the baby eagle to feel the wind in his wings. After a while with the help of the mother eagle he is ready to soar far above. Is that what You are doing to us our Heavenly Father? that we may soar in our faith?
A Letter to God !!!
3/3/92
11:41pm
Oh God! My feelings and emotions are so mixed up and confusing right now. I want to try to bring them
to the surface so we can deal with them. I resent the invasion of this word CANCER in my life and the life
of my loved one once again... this invasion takes away our ability to think straight and deal with the matters
at hand.. I resent the ability stolen to come and go with Alan Donne whenever we wanted to take off and
go for walks. I miss those times we could just sit and talk or just be together doing nothing... The need to
be needed and for someone to do for me what I can't do for myself... I call on You to meet that need. I
just want it to be like it was; that time shall be no more... I know we can't go back to the way it was ever again unless a miracle is done in his body... that body is invaded by this dreaded disease called cancer and
we can't fight it in ourselves. we need your help to understand and know what is really going on in the spiritual world...
I know there is a heavy battle over this life in Alan Donne's body. We know the spiritual life lives on after the natural body dies and we know there will be peace in Heaven where no more pain and death occur. I long for that opportunity that is afforded all those who believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, our Savior and soon coming King. I do believe and surrender my entire life to You to do with at Your will... The ability to love again and be loved is the desire of my heart... I long to even feel love again...
I feel so dead in my spirit. Revive me with Your sweet Holy Spirit... Let me feel You again and have the joy of Your presence. I try to forget the thing of Cancer that has invaded our lives again; first my Mom,
Aunt, Alan Donne's Mother, Brother and the scare we had just ten short months ago when I found out
about the cancer in my own body. But praise God You kept mine from spreading... the doctors say Alan Donne's was in his lungs for years and we can't do anything about that now... Why did his spread and mine didn't... only You know God... Now the doctors say he has less then six months to live...an eternity it seems but is only a short time to enjoy his company. I love him so much and yet it doesn't seem to be enough right now. Love him now through me and let me not resent him but resent the invasion that has come into his
body, the earthly tabernacle that will be shed at death and go into eternity to be with his Heavenly Father... Draw us both to your precious side when the time comes...
11:41pm
Oh God! My feelings and emotions are so mixed up and confusing right now. I want to try to bring them
to the surface so we can deal with them. I resent the invasion of this word CANCER in my life and the life
of my loved one once again... this invasion takes away our ability to think straight and deal with the matters
at hand.. I resent the ability stolen to come and go with Alan Donne whenever we wanted to take off and
go for walks. I miss those times we could just sit and talk or just be together doing nothing... The need to
be needed and for someone to do for me what I can't do for myself... I call on You to meet that need. I
just want it to be like it was; that time shall be no more... I know we can't go back to the way it was ever again unless a miracle is done in his body... that body is invaded by this dreaded disease called cancer and
we can't fight it in ourselves. we need your help to understand and know what is really going on in the spiritual world...
I know there is a heavy battle over this life in Alan Donne's body. We know the spiritual life lives on after the natural body dies and we know there will be peace in Heaven where no more pain and death occur. I long for that opportunity that is afforded all those who believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, our Savior and soon coming King. I do believe and surrender my entire life to You to do with at Your will... The ability to love again and be loved is the desire of my heart... I long to even feel love again...
I feel so dead in my spirit. Revive me with Your sweet Holy Spirit... Let me feel You again and have the joy of Your presence. I try to forget the thing of Cancer that has invaded our lives again; first my Mom,
Aunt, Alan Donne's Mother, Brother and the scare we had just ten short months ago when I found out
about the cancer in my own body. But praise God You kept mine from spreading... the doctors say Alan Donne's was in his lungs for years and we can't do anything about that now... Why did his spread and mine didn't... only You know God... Now the doctors say he has less then six months to live...an eternity it seems but is only a short time to enjoy his company. I love him so much and yet it doesn't seem to be enough right now. Love him now through me and let me not resent him but resent the invasion that has come into his
body, the earthly tabernacle that will be shed at death and go into eternity to be with his Heavenly Father... Draw us both to your precious side when the time comes...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tears Of a Wounded Heart !!! (continued)
Oh how BEAUTIFUL HEAVEN must be and how I YEARN to be with You and Alan Donne. But You MUST HAVE something MORE for me to do here yet... SEND Your ministering Angels to me to minister to me, Your child. I've heard You've given two people visions of Alan Donne to encourage me. I just want to SEE how REAL HEAVEN is for those who go there... I miss the walks Alan Donne and I used to have where we would get into discussions about Spiritual things...
My Child, I am HERE and I WILL SEE you THROUGH this time... I LOVE you very much and I LONG for the TIME I CAN BRING ALL MY CHILDREN HOME to LIVE with ME FOREVER in HEAVEN!!! Yes HEAVEN is a BEAUTIFUL place where those who are READY WILL COME to SPEND ETERNITY WITH ME!!! PLACE your TRUST in ME and KEEP your EYES on ME and I WILL HELP you EACH STEP of the WAY... There is a PLAN I have for you that ONLY you CAN FULFILL for ME!!! TRUST ME and I WILL REVEAL it soon... You are MINE for I bought you and I CREATED
you in MY IMAGE and to have FELLOWSHIP with ME!!! LEAN on ME, MY CHILD and I WILL SEE you THROUGH each TRIAL and each TEMPTATION... Do not LOOK BACK but LOOK to the FUTURE and you WILL SEE the MIRACLES I have WAITING for you...
3/30/92
Gertrude Ann
My Child, I am HERE and I WILL SEE you THROUGH this time... I LOVE you very much and I LONG for the TIME I CAN BRING ALL MY CHILDREN HOME to LIVE with ME FOREVER in HEAVEN!!! Yes HEAVEN is a BEAUTIFUL place where those who are READY WILL COME to SPEND ETERNITY WITH ME!!! PLACE your TRUST in ME and KEEP your EYES on ME and I WILL HELP you EACH STEP of the WAY... There is a PLAN I have for you that ONLY you CAN FULFILL for ME!!! TRUST ME and I WILL REVEAL it soon... You are MINE for I bought you and I CREATED
you in MY IMAGE and to have FELLOWSHIP with ME!!! LEAN on ME, MY CHILD and I WILL SEE you THROUGH each TRIAL and each TEMPTATION... Do not LOOK BACK but LOOK to the FUTURE and you WILL SEE the MIRACLES I have WAITING for you...
3/30/92
Gertrude Ann
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Tears Of a Wounded Heart !!! (continued)
Put Your arms around me and hold me tight right now. May I lay in Your arms til this night and the hurt is gone... WALK through this trial and this trying time with me. I sold the 25 caliber pistol so I wouldn't
have it here... BE GONE temptations and LEAVE me ALONE tonight and always... I BELONG to
Jesus Christ and Him ALONE will I SERVE... I TAKE A STAND and DECLARE that Jesus Christ is my Lord,Savior and soon coming King. I WILL NOT TURN BACK for I WILL GO FORWARD from this
night on... be my FRIEND for I have a WOUNDED HEART... Help me sleep tonight and wake up refreshed in the morning... TOUCH my mind and CLEAR it from all worry and confusion... I do need You more than ever before. In Your written word it says You are a husband to the widow... BE MINE and LET me TELL You all that is on my mind. There is so much that has happened and I'm so confused right now.
The pain in my heart and body is just too much to handle by myself. I NEED HELP...MAY I GET the HELP I NEED... I ADMIT that I NEED HELP and I ASK You to LEAD me to that HELP...
Thank You that You hear me and You don't turn Your back on me when I need You... Thank You for giving me this talent for writing out my feelings... May I MAKE myself TRANSPARENT so You can HELP me....
have it here... BE GONE temptations and LEAVE me ALONE tonight and always... I BELONG to
Jesus Christ and Him ALONE will I SERVE... I TAKE A STAND and DECLARE that Jesus Christ is my Lord,Savior and soon coming King. I WILL NOT TURN BACK for I WILL GO FORWARD from this
night on... be my FRIEND for I have a WOUNDED HEART... Help me sleep tonight and wake up refreshed in the morning... TOUCH my mind and CLEAR it from all worry and confusion... I do need You more than ever before. In Your written word it says You are a husband to the widow... BE MINE and LET me TELL You all that is on my mind. There is so much that has happened and I'm so confused right now.
The pain in my heart and body is just too much to handle by myself. I NEED HELP...MAY I GET the HELP I NEED... I ADMIT that I NEED HELP and I ASK You to LEAD me to that HELP...
Thank You that You hear me and You don't turn Your back on me when I need You... Thank You for giving me this talent for writing out my feelings... May I MAKE myself TRANSPARENT so You can HELP me....
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Tears Of A Wounded Heart !!!
3/30/1992
11:15pm
Oh God! I hurt so much tonight. I just heard for about the third time the song " Jesus, a Friend of a wounded heart." Sometimes I feel so all alone. I think of Alan Donne and it feels so empty in my heart. I feel like a battle is going on tonight... Please help me to overcome this hopeless feeling. Help me to live again and enjoy things again. I just sob as if my heart is tearing apart. I try to pack to move and everywhere I look or whatever I do I see reminders of Alan Donne and I have to tell myself it is real--- He is gone and he won't come back again--- I must go on and live again. But it is so hard to do. I think of his medication up in the cupboard and I have to fight the thought to take the morphine so I won't hurt anymore. I must get it out of here. Help me Lord Jesus to make it through the night... these thoughts TERRIFY me. I must not do it as it will only cause more pain and won't settle anything. think of the happy times and look to the future. For there will a TOMORROW again... I need You Holy Spirit to comfort me and calm my weary heart. I am so very tired of feeling tired and empty... Lead me to the ROCK that is higher than I... Fill me to overflowing with joy and gladness again... Fill my cup so there will be peace and contentment again... I do Love You very much and always want to be Dependent on You. Show me what to do and where to go... Take this heavy depressing feeling away from me. I do need You Jesus tonight and always... May I lay all these burdens at your feet dear Lord. Help me in this grieving time and don't let me do anything to destroy our relationship... I trust You Holy Spirit, I just don't trust myself right now... I'm afraid I may do something desperate... DRAW me closer to You.
11:15pm
Oh God! I hurt so much tonight. I just heard for about the third time the song " Jesus, a Friend of a wounded heart." Sometimes I feel so all alone. I think of Alan Donne and it feels so empty in my heart. I feel like a battle is going on tonight... Please help me to overcome this hopeless feeling. Help me to live again and enjoy things again. I just sob as if my heart is tearing apart. I try to pack to move and everywhere I look or whatever I do I see reminders of Alan Donne and I have to tell myself it is real--- He is gone and he won't come back again--- I must go on and live again. But it is so hard to do. I think of his medication up in the cupboard and I have to fight the thought to take the morphine so I won't hurt anymore. I must get it out of here. Help me Lord Jesus to make it through the night... these thoughts TERRIFY me. I must not do it as it will only cause more pain and won't settle anything. think of the happy times and look to the future. For there will a TOMORROW again... I need You Holy Spirit to comfort me and calm my weary heart. I am so very tired of feeling tired and empty... Lead me to the ROCK that is higher than I... Fill me to overflowing with joy and gladness again... Fill my cup so there will be peace and contentment again... I do Love You very much and always want to be Dependent on You. Show me what to do and where to go... Take this heavy depressing feeling away from me. I do need You Jesus tonight and always... May I lay all these burdens at your feet dear Lord. Help me in this grieving time and don't let me do anything to destroy our relationship... I trust You Holy Spirit, I just don't trust myself right now... I'm afraid I may do something desperate... DRAW me closer to You.
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